entry 002

03.24.26

over the last few years, it's been impossible to make plans. i've been so deep in the unknown that it has fundamentally changed how i operate in the world.

it's hard to communicate when you don't actually know what's going on or what's next. it's like, how do i tell a story that i'm still so deeply interwoven? how can i tell a story when even retroactively, i can't tell you what has happened and is happening? i don't know the narrative. i am off-script.

i have left everything that i've known about operating in this world successfully and have traded it in for.. something else. in this space, all that exists is possibility, and i'm still waiting to see what that means. i think back often to this moment in 2022, when i was walking by myself on a trail through a remote area of barcelona. i was listening to one of my playlists, and 'you can have it all' started playing by yo la tengo.

there was something about the song, the surroundings, the emotion that felt like a turning point. it felt like a calling. it occurred to me that maybe i could have the life that i wanted, exactly- fully on my own terms. i think that moment has cascaded into some new version of me that is still unfolding- a version who has full authority and isn't intimidated by it.